Am I back?

Or am I not? 

It's been a while since I've blogged, after I deleted my WordPress. Unfortunately, I can't get my domain back. Such a shame :(

Life hasn't been going well and yeah, it's pretty depressing. So much feels omg. And I can't seem to stop...? 

I failed to keep my thoughts to myself and needed to let it out somehow. Therefore, I decided to get myself a small diary and pen my thoughts. My deepest thoughts which I feel from within although I did tell a person or two about it. But not entirely, though. It's kind of difficult. I don't know how to express my feelings. I probably have alexithymia. 

Wiki defines alexithymia as "a personality construct characterized by the sub-clinical inability to identify and describe emotions in the self. The core characteristics of alexithymia are marked dysfunction in emotional awareness, social attachment, and interpersonal relating. Furthermore, individuals suffering from alexithymia also have difficulty in distinguishing and appreciating the emotions of others, which is thought to lead to unempathic and ineffective emotional responding."

Well, I believe I'm sorta like that. I think.

As life hasn't been going on well for me, it's been a struggle. Hence, I've decided to buy myself a book by Demi Lovato called Staying Strong. The book is something like a daily journal, with a quote, elaboration and goal written each day. It's pretty inspirational and I love it. I feel better after understanding a lil bit more. Sometimes, when I feel kind of depressed, I'll randomly flip through to look for a relevant quote. I swear, it's damn good.

Anyway, today is my 18th birthday and the first few hours sucked. I felt loneliness and everything. It sucked so bad that I cried. But, why do I cry easily? Why do I feel pain in the chest? It hurts. 

But, as the day became night, it gradually got better and better. In a sense that I feel happier and happier as time passed.

After a disappointing lunch, we shopped a hard drive for myself cuz I need, duh. HAHAHA. After shopping, we headed home and rested. In midst of it, I decided to look up Amore Fitness & Spa, something like that cuz I decided I needed some improvement... But the website lacked information on rates and schedules. I too looked up on Yoga Inc. because it's pretty near my house and it cost quite a bit omg. So, I asked mom if she wanted to go with me and she said she could give me some free yoga thing somewhere else. It feels kind of weird though. *Still interested in Yoga Inc.! >.<* After that, we had mookata for dinner with my fam except jane. I kind of burnt my hand cuz i touched the pot :( It still hurts :'(

Finally, we headed for Awfully Chocolate nearby for desserts yay. There's always room for dessert! Definitely! We ordered 2 cakes and truffles hehe. It was damn good omg. I LOVED IT. Hehe. I tried the Singha beer at Mookata and Asahi beer at Awfully Chocolate. I liked Asahi one better cuz it's draft. Meaning to say, it's more fresh ;)

taste of asahi beer while waiting for our orders

our orders finally arrived

fam photo

chocolate house yeahhhhhh

chocolate hdb flat :P

Honestly, it was so hard to decide what to wish omg. To the extent that mom told me to pretend I'm making a wish wtf hahhahaha. I don't have the picture though :P

Goodnight! 

xx Jean O